What if less is more?

Do you ever go to bed at night and just wonder where your day went?  I hate that.  It seems like it happens way too often to me.  As a matter of fact, that is pretty much the conversation I had with my doc a few years ago that led to my AD/HD diagnosis.  She said it is normal to have days like this from time to time but, if you find your days are "lost" more often than not you might have a problem.  Well, I have a problem!

For a long time I had thought, "Well if I just try harder..", "discipline myself more...", etc.  After I discovered that I have AD/HD it sort of made me realize that I might have to look at things from a different angle...take a different approach than my "normal" friends and coworkers.  At first it was a big relief to know that there really was something wrong with me...is that weird?  I thought that if I know the "what" than I could also know the "how to" in regards to my problem.  But, the more I read and the more I learned (and tried) the more discouraged I became.  I started to realize....this thing isn't going away!  And no matter how many tips and tricks I learned I would have to always stay on top of and work hard to just live some semblance of a normal life.  It's frustrating when it seems like a lot of people with this live with relative success in one area of their lives if they are lucky.  So, maybe they found a great niche at work but, other relationships are failing.  Or they've managed to maintain a long-term marriage but, never found the meaning they had hoped for in a job or career outside of the home.  I usually feel like I'm failing to some degree in almost every important area of my life.  That's hard.  That's discouraging and for a lot of people that is their life with AD/HD.

I don't know why but, I just can't accept this.  I want to live a full life.  Ok, so it's not all about me but, it would be nice to be able to feel like I can accomplish my goals and not always feel 10 steps behind. I dream of making it on time (or even early) to my appointments.  I dream of not letting my husband down (again) by forgetting to wash his white coat, pay a bill, etc.  I dream of having a routine that keeps my home clean and beautiful just the way I like it (but, rarely get to enjoy it this way). I dream of being able to do these things and still be able to spend time with the girls and not find myself wasting my Monday away while Ogglet #1 watches tv much of the day.  I also, though this is a bigger goal, dream of also finding a purpose outside the home.  Maybe returning to work or finishing my degree?

Adding to that never-ending stack of to-do's.

Writing it all down on paper now it does seem like a lot but, how can one fit it all in?  I'm not here to tell you how.  If I had the answers I suppose I would be off living this dream. :-)  But, something has started to grow in my mind.  It's an idea that I hadn't considered before:  minimalism.  I've tried so many times to manage my time to fit more things in or organize our stuff so our home would not feel messy or cluttered.  Yet, somehow I never seriously examined whether there was too much to fit.  I didn't examine it because it seems like the status quo or maybe even less than what I see others successfully juggling. It never crossed my mind that maybe I can't juggle as much as "them"....ouch!  That hurts.  So now the question that keeps echoing across my thoughts is, how much is too much.  I suppose only I will know the answer to that question.  Suppose the answer for me right now is not about more management techniques but, truly examining the pieces and parts of my life.  Are these things tangible and intangible truly adding value to the lives of myself and my family?  So, it's kind of a quest I'm on I guess:  to find out if less really can be more.  For now, I also would like to let my AD/HD off the hook regarding my disorganization and lack of focus.  Though I'm sure it plays a part I would like to just see what paring down can do.  So, I've started whittling away little by little.  Next I will tell you about how I'm starting to get rid of some of our stuff.  Not as much as in the blog that inspired me but, a helpful step just the same.  Ironically a lot of what is fueling me is the hope that by getting down to the basics I can successfully add in some of these things I've dreamed of for so long...maybe even work, work that I'm good at.  That would be much more!



Please tell me if you've struggled with prioritizing and what changes you've made for the better.  I would love to hear what you think about motherhood and work.  I know we all say, "whatever works for you, dear."  But, deep down I suspect you have more opinions than that and I'm open to them.  I must admit that I still struggle with whether my desire to go back to work (if even part time) is  misdirected somehow. But, I can't seem to shirk it and I also can't quite imagine leaving my baby Ogglet #2 quite yet.  I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

Top Ten Reasons to Have Mom Help After Having a Baby

Since February when I had Ogglet #2 I have wished that my mom and mother-in-law would come back for good.  It was so helpful having them for the first two weeks being a mommy of two that I really can't recommend it more but, if you're on the fence about this just read on...

10. Take some pressure off your husband 

especially if he has to go back to work.

9. Someone to run to the store in a pinch.

8. Toys magically picked up....

...and the dog fed and let out (even if you forget).

7. No dirty dishes in the sink.

6. Clean laundry.

5. Home cooked meals.

(ok, maybe not exactly like this but, you will be so grateful

 that it will feel like a Norman Rockwell painting)

4. The invaluable emotional support of 

someone who has been there/done that.

(Unless you're already best friends with Bonnie Hunt....)

3. Give your toddler(s) 

much-needed adult care and attention.

"Just Leave the children to me, dearie."

2. Be more thankful and appreciative than ever

 that you have a mom/mother-in-law who cares 

so much for you AND your children.

PS - She will be more appreciative of you as well.

1. SLEEP...she can and will watch your kids 

so you can take a much needed nap.

So, after having baby (first or fifth) 

if you would rather feel like this....

and less like this...

Than read my tips for making it happen:

Just ask...ahead of time and make your expectations clear.  I told my mom I would mainly want help with care for my 2 year old so she would have the attention she needs without me feeling pulled away from what I needed to do for the baby.  She may end up doing much, much more but, be upfront with your expectations to avoid any potential misunderstandings.

Set a clear time frame and make it a tad shorter than what you are thinking.  At first I thought an entire week but, then I realized that is a long time to have anyone visit for any reason.  So, I asked my mom for 5 days and she ended up staying 6...perfect for everybody.  I think it is easier to ask for an extra day than to ask your mom or mother-in-law to leave if she is driving you crazy.  If she lives in the same town as you it's even easier. Have her come for a set amount of hours each day like, when your hubby leaves for work until after dinner.  That is what we arranged with my mom for an entire week after having Ogglet #1 and it worked great.

Make it fun!  Think about little ways she can help that will add fun to your week.  Maybe ask your mom to take your child to a special outing or even her regular playgroup to break up the routine of being at home.  In my case I also asked my mom and mother-in-law to bring some of our favorite recipes from my and my husband's childhood.  I supplied the groceries and they cooked these favorite meals for us.  I also planned to make a special dessert for them.  These little things just made the week that much more enjoyable.

I'm soooo blessed to have two amazing moms in my life.  My irreplaceable and amazing mom who has loved me in spite of my faults for 29 years and counting.  And of course my mother-in-law who I am so blessed to get to share as a result of marrying DrOgg. 
They are both the best; I am so lucky!

-Mamaw (Grandma)                                         Mammie(Grammie) 

Ogglet also calls her Grandpas Mampaw.  hehehe  And she remembers them in her prayers almost every night.  I didn't include it on my list but, I think that sharing your kids is one of the best ways to bless them and enrich your children's lives at the same time. For me it makes me more appreciative of my girls when I get to have them 100% to myself again.

So, Did you have your mom or mother-in-law help after having one or more of your babies?  Please share your experiences good and bad.  I'd love to hear what you think!

Happy mothers day to moms everywhere because, every day is mother's day!

Our Year in Review

Dear Family and Friends,

Happy New Year!   If we are not seeing you in person this holiday season we hope you have a beautiful and blessed time.  Also, know you are on our minds and in our hearts.  This year has been one of a lot of exciting changes for us and we thought it might even be worthy of an update to let you know all that has been going on.

                This Valentine’s Day was a significant one for our family as it was the residency match day for all DO students.   We found out officially that student DrOgg would have the opportunity to make his dream of being an orthopedic surgeon come true.  We also found out that he would be doing this back in Erie, PA which meant we would be living there for at least 5 years. MrsOgg immediately started planning the upcoming move and we debated whether we should buy a home in Erie or look for a rental.   Of course our hope was to move into our first house but, unsure if we could afford it we began exploring our options.

In April we found out the great news that a 3 bedroom home had come available through the hospital’s resident’s rental program and we were at the top of the list.  Since this was the most affordable way we knew to a nice house we hurried up to Erie to take a look.  After 5 years in all kinds of apartments this little ranch with a big yard in a quiet neighborhood was a dream come true. 

 We signed the lease and made plans to move to Erie as soon as possible.  On March 15^th we moved into our first house and even though it was 10 pm when we finally arrived (through a snowstorm) DrOgg and Ogglet couldn’t help but run around playing and exploring all the space we would be blessed with for the next five years.  Though MrsOgg loved everything she especially couldn’t be happier with her new kitchen that boasts a dishwasher and just about 3 times the space of our previous tiny kitchen.

After settling in for almost two months the day we all had been waiting for finally came:  graduation day!  On May 29^th our student doctor officially became Dr. Ogg and the first leg of his long journey to becoming an orthopedic surgeon was completed.  What a proud day it was for everyone!  Seeing Dr Ogg walk across that stage and knowing all the hard work and sacrifice that had led up to it was wonderful.  We celebrated with some family and food.  We even got to enjoy our yard and patio out back since our central air decided to conk out the day of the party.  But, in spite of the heat,  it was a wonderful weekend of celebration and of course time with our family.

Not soon after graduation we found out the most wonderful news of the whole year, we are having another baby!  So, the past seven months have been full of adjustments and challenges.  For DrOgg learning the ropes of his first year of residency and of course for MrsOgg caring for an active toddler while pregnant have been challenging to say the least.  And of course Ogglet turned two this October.  We have been surprised daily her amazing growth and learning these past months.  Not only is she talking more than ever but, she likes to put together puzzles, learn her alphabet, numbers, colors and shapes.  Basically anything we can teach her she is willing and eager to learn which makes all the “terrible” parts of being two not seem so bad. 

All in all it’s been a pretty amazing year.  Of course now we are trying to finish last minute preparations for the new baby girl and hope to enjoy our last 6 months with daddy before he has to start his rotations at out-of-town hospitals.  In spite of all this joy and the blessings we’ve been given we have already learned and will probably continue to discover that these last 5 years of DrOgg’s training are going to be the most trying.  Please keep us in your hearts and your prayers that we will be able to make the most of these years and stay strong in the Lord and close as a family.  Thanks for all of your support in small and big ways that helped us to get this far.

Yard Sale = Success!!

I guess this is going to be a bit of a brag post. So if you can't handle it just stop reading now. ;-) But seriously, I am possible becoming irreparably hooked on yardsaling and the such. It's no secret in our circle that soon to be DrOgg and I are always low on cash. It is definitely part of the med school experience and having a child only adds to the financial burden. Of course I worked hard at my full time furniture sales job to support our little family until our sweet girl came along. Since then I have done everything from sell Mary Kay, discover every government program possible that we could benefit from, picked up some odd jobs when available, and of course our family and friends have pitched in. They've done a lot of little things like buying us lunch or giving us hand me downs for our Ogglet. And some bigger ones like my folks buying us tires one year when we really, really needed them, or Dr Ogg's family lending us money until our student loans came. My Sis and Bro gave us their old washer and dryer! I can't tell you how helpful this was because it came soon after we had our little Ogglet and had none at our apartment. But, after moving back to PA I found out that we were going to no longer receive one government program we had in Ohio. This was going to be a huge problem. So I'm back to the drawing board on ways to make $$ that won't take me away from my Ogglet on a regular basis. Fast forward to the MOPS yard sale at our local church. I went through all of our belongings trying to find things we no longer needed but, might possibly be of value. I felt I needed more and asked my girlfriends to contribute items if they could. Only one came through but, she did it in a big way: Thanks Kristen!! She gave me some really nice stuff. On the day of the indoor yard sale I was running a bit late. But, I managed to get all of my boxes to my reserved tables before they opened the doors. I had the tables full of items to display when people started coming in but, was still putting items out for at least an hour so it would have been much better if I had taken advantage of the early set up time they had the day before (but, it was our 5 year anniversary AND the royal wedding ). The first few hours of the yard sale were very exciting with lots of people between 9 and 11 am...lots of sales, too. It really slowed down big time and I still sold items up until the last half hour but, it seemed that it should have opened earlier and closed well before the 2pm scheduled end time. DrOgg came with our SUV and loaded the unsold items super quick. I was so thankful for him since at this point I was pretty tired. I didn't count the money until we got home and hoped I had covered the $20 cost of my table space. All I know was that I had had so much fun greeting lots of people and haggling...being handed cash is always gratifying as well :-P It wasn't until we were sitting down for our late lunch that I realized we had made a profit of $117 !!! So I realize people in this world make much more than this for 10 hours of work but, for a SAHM this seemed pretty good since I was only gone for one day and DrOgg and Ogglet had a wonderful daddy/daughter day together.
On top of this small victory I already sold a bookcase on craig's list for $400 that I had originally purchased for $40! I feel so good that I have already earned the money we would have been short this month due to our move. And I'm even more excited for my streets annual neighborhood yard sale coming up on May 14th. Here's hoping and praying I can scheme my way into another $450 to hold off financial disaster in June. Wish me luck!

My Yard sale Tips I found online and thought worthy of sharing:
1. Place a box of FREE items out to create a positive energy...it also helps to attract attention to your space if you are in a group sale.
2. Use blue painters tape and a sharpie for labels instead of stickers. This way you will never damage any items. This is an especially awesome tip if you have lots books and paper items. But, I found it sticks to everything including fabric quite well, but also comes off easily...win/win.
3. Start EARLY. In my case the people couldn't come by until 9 but, it a real yard/garage sale situation on expert told me the first people show as early as 7:15-7:30 so it's best to get setting up no later that 7 even if you advertise your yard sale for 8...they will want to be the first to see your items. (After my May 14th sale I will let you know if this is true). I still wonder though, if I had set up ahead if I would have sold more because I was setting items out well into the second hour....I guess I will never know.
4. Price it to sell! Don't try to price things like they are in a retail environment or you will be stuck putting everything away at the end of the day like the table next to me. I thought my prices were good but, in retrospect some could have been lower. I did sell some higher ticket items like my old flute for $15 and some discontinued Mary Kay but, most of what I sold was priced $2 or less and the 25 cent stuff just flew. I'm going to try to have tons of 25 cent items at my next sale because it just totally breaks down any resistance people have to buying with a price that low and it all adds up!
5. Now, this might be my BEST tip and it's an original...learned by my own personal trial and error. If you are really hard up for cash like I am than do NOT donate your leftover items after your sale. I literally need every penny I can get so, do like I did and bring your items to a local flea market and sell them to a vendor there (if you don't feel like having another yard sale). I even discovered that sometimes they will trade things with you. recently I traded an extra microwave, old cell phone and a pur filter for a faucet partially used no less (ick) for a beautiful lamp, an outdoor rug for our patio and a very large mirror that is now reflecting light beautifully in our living room. These trades might be my proudest moment yet, and I'm crazy in love with the lamp. So if you're really poor it's okay not to donate...unless you need the 20% off coupon that they give you. :-) Happy hunting!